Tuesday, September 18, 2012

The High Ponytail - Epic Fail

So yesterday I asked Chris before I went to the store if he could notice the hearing aids with my hair in a high ponytail.  He looked confused and commented not really but asked why the concern when I wear a ponytail all the time for work.  It was then that I confessed my little secret.  I had been wearing my hair in a low and loose ponytail that kept hair behind my ears and eyes off the new hardware. 

"Why are you worried about it, who cares?"  Was his response and so off I went to the store with his words bouncing around in my brain.

Turns out he was right, no one did care and my trip to the store and back went without much fanfare. 

Armed with my new confidence this morning I decided to wear my hair in the same high style to work. No one will notice I reasoned with myself and even if they did again, why did I care?  My ears do not define me.  In fact the contraptions were not the root of the embarrassment rather the vehicle to others discovering what was going on.  It is a fear that a label will automatically be placed upon me.  That I will be thought of as deaf (which by definition I am). 

None the less I forgot about them, as is regular practice now a days, until half way through lunch when the co-worker beside me blurted out, "What's that behind your ear?" 

In a busy lunch joint it seemed to me that everything went silent.  In truth everyone working on my line did stop and look at me.  I mean I'm the boss and they wanted to see what was going on.  Honestly I think he thought it was some sort of phone or music device and he was trying to call me out. 

Calmly and with as much apathy as I could muster I shrugged my shoulder and said that they were hearing aids.  Furrowing his brow he continued on, "Have you always had them?".  This time I spoke more quietly and responded that they were new, like two weeks new.  "Oh."  He said in return allowing a brief pause before he continued on, "How much did they cost?  Cause I am partially deaf in one ear."  Another employee who was listening in, let's face it they were all listening in, commented that he was 80% deaf in one ear.  I only shook my head in agreement.  What can be said?  Why a joke of course!!  Hahaha  So I used my humor protection immediately and commented, "Yeah I could be considered disabled now, so I told Chris he was out of luck and couldn't fire me without a law suit."  Everyone got a laugh out of it and the subject was put to bed.  For those of you that don't know why that is funny it is because my husband and I own our business and I work there for free.

Having them find out wasn't really that bad.  I know that word will travel now amongst the staff but that is OK.  I will from now on refer to them as my super sonic ears at work.  Letting everyone know that I am always listening and will always know what they are talking about.  Now that should make them paranoid. 

Tonight after I put the baby to bed I went on the internet looking for a sign language class and I cannot find one in our area at all!  It is very surprising how few classes there are considering we have a school for the deaf right here in my city.  I'm thinking about just stopping by their office because perhaps these sort of things are not listed online.  I did start a bit on my own from the ASL website.  Already I picked up a few things but without someone to practice them on I will never learn it.  I know that from the countless times that Chris and I have tried to learn another language.  In our marriage we have started and stopped learning another language three times.  It is just to hard to do independently without some real world conversations.

I want to find one soon to learn it, not out of necessity but for myself.  Because even if I never have to use it exclusively I still think it would be a good thing to know.  I want to be someone who can communicate with those that have trouble hearing.

Had a lot of trouble tonight with the TV.  Not liking that feeling.  Hearing Aid follow up tomorrow.  I am hoping she lets me try the one step up version.