You see our computer like minds are scanning constantly. I don't know what fuels it and while scientist vary on the reason they are united on the event. Perhaps it is that we feel like we might miss out if we drown out all background and truly focus on one thing at a time. Maybe it is simply the way our brain is designed, to monitor and survey. It could also possibly come from the way we are taught speech as children. This effect has been shown to be neurological, physical and situational. I don't know the reason and I don't stand behind one explanation or another, all I know is - I am no longer good at it.
Every other piece of sound as it bounces off the walls, pings chandeliers, slides smoothly and quickly along tile floors, dances through the light or wraps around the feet of those in attendance is lost on me.
In a crowded room if we are having a conversation rest assured you have my full attention. And please if you are not the one talking to me a touch on the shoulder would be appreciated if you want to engage me.
Calling my name may simply not be enough.
Speaking a request out loud with me in the room most assuredly is not going to produce any results.
I do not do this on purpose but my brain and my ear began this dance out of preservation.
I wish I could still scan.
I miss out on a lot and sometimes that gap can feel like a chasm with no hope of reaching the other side.
It is something I have to let go of in order to succeed in things that are more important.
I truly love talking and having conversation which is why I continue to push myself and train my brain to respond differently and try new things. I do think that with more time I will be more successful in this process.
In fact, in about a week I am attending a formal event where there will be chandeliers, marble floors, hundreds of people talking, glasses clinking, high heels tapping, music playing and me. I have decided that I am going to soak up all of the sound and hopefully find my little ribbon of silence when I am talking one on one or in a group. Cocktail Effect or not, I plan on having meaningful conversations throughout the evening!